weitingg

2011-11-03T14:30:00.002+08:00

Why is it that no matter how much I've done. It's never enough. Be it for friends, families or my relationship. What they gave you was a "it's not enough ", or "you deserve this". I'm upset. I'm terribly upset. Like who exactly could understand ? It's like a constant haunt where it felt as though I owed things.

2011-09-27T03:55:00.002+08:00

As I sat down here in my living room. In deep thoughts, I said this to myself " come what may, I'm just gonna accept it " I guess its really now or never. Life. Relationships. Connections. Commitments. Could be so fragile. I'm prepared to accept changes in life. To be specific. Changes in life such as things and people I thought would stay in my life for permanent.

I do look forward to see how much I could do this time. And I'm very confident that this time I'm not doing for anyone. I'm doing it for myself. A test. A test on how far I will do to prove my stand. Yes wish me luck, and I can tell you. I thought through and rehearsed that scenario over and over again. Which is why im still wide awake here, at 4.07am.

Love.
Weiting

2011-06-30T23:54:00.004+08:00

It's been awhile since i've updated this space. What actually motivated me to do up a post is my boyfriend. Sounds cheesy i know. but you know this loverboy of mine was whining at me on why i've never ever penned down any romantic thoughts on Facebook or any other social network you could think of. So I figured out that since I wanna do it, I might as well do it in my blog, a place where i feel more comfortable in penning down my thoughts, rather than Facebook "Notes" section haha.

Okay how should i begin with. had been dating this boy for approx 2 months plus. But I believed that the things we had shared were more than just 2 months. It's just that kinda feeling where we both had known each other for the longest time (technically speaking, yes). Not only a boyfriend he is, he is my jogging/swimming khaki, supper khaki, movie khaki, etc. The feeling of how we could amazingly spend hours talking about our life till the unearthly hour was undescribable. Even mummy finds it amazing hahahha. Needless to mention how comfortable I felt with him around, how he would perform the silliest act that no one could ever think of. I guess this is the feeling of being in love. For i would gladly fall in love with his weird habits and embrace his flaws. Definitely there were setbacks and stumbling rocks in this relationship, or maybe there are gonna be more setbacks in the near future. But I believe that if the heart and commitment in this rs is there, we would definitely pull through!

So come what may, I'll still dote on you as much as you want me to AdamHeng!:p

2011-04-24T01:39:00.003+08:00

at this point of time i definitely do need a quiet place for me to pour out my thoughts. twitter and facebook? nah.

im not good at words. but you see the thing about me is that, i'm a really pessimistic person. i tend to feel inferior very often. especially at this point of situation. always very confident that im capable of handling my own emotions. but look at me now, i look as shitty as ever. i always believed i no longer need to mess up my man with all my bad feelings and emotions because the last thing i wanted is to stress him even further when he has enough problems to deal with.

its just a sudden realisation that i guess i think too highly of myself.

and now the future seems so bleak to me. i dare not think and imagine as much as before about my future. but i shall just pray. just pray.

but come to think of it. those hurtful words that i said. seems to make sense though, it seems that i didn't say it out of anger, it seems to be a fact. thats what hurts the most.

i dare not imagine of replacing that position that this person has stayed in their heart. i dare not think and fantasize that much anymore. bless me

weitingfam

2010-12-24T11:58:00.002+08:00

no idea whether it's a good thing to be too free and waiting for the clock to strike 1230pm and i'll be dashing down to the mrt to meet my friends for xbox kinect session over at my place. but lunch first definitely, did i mentioned how hungry am i right now:( I've planned out how am i gonna spend my xmas eve, needless to mention reporting to work from 10am-1230pm on a pre-holiday is redundant. still wondering if yk wants to join dinner with me and my sister. the last thing i wanted is to leave my little sister alone on an xmas eve, could be considered a very special one from previous years as she's finally freed from the o-level gate of hell. Let's just hope she heals well from her broken heart=/

this is the boring part, yes the usual "new year resolution" which i THINK i had been doing it since 2005 when this site has been created. but who the hell ever fulfil these resolutions. i mean you don't live the year just to fulfil your resolution right. SO, this year i shall be smart. my only new year resolution (to sum up everything) is to be able to juggle well school work, extra pocket money, boyfriend, girlfriends and most importantly my family!

i guess i had a pretty boring 2010 as compared to 2009. i don't know why i'm so proud of the fact that i had a pretty crazy December during 2009. the best part would definietly be the zoukout09 and the sumptuous new year steamboat over at a friend's place. I've always loved to do countdowns with a group of close friends so that i could scream and hug my friends when the clock strikes 12, always loved sharing crazy moments with them and of course my partner-in-crime: lxy. a bitch. LOL. but well life gets different each year, though ,my life couldn't be as crazy as 2009, i'll still forward towards each year with a positive attitude:)

Merry Xmas and Happy new Year to alll!

2010-12-19T02:06:00.002+08:00

nothing to lose. your love to win

2010-12-09T13:43:00.003+08:00

For the 100th time, I reminded myself time and time again. 3 years of hard work is going to bring me to a much more promised future. I'm glad that I wasted no time as to which path to take after my poly life, for I know time waits for no one. And remember, it doesnt mean that if you take a different path from others means you're abnormal. Instead, people will admire you for your courageness for stepping out of your comfort zone, and pushing yourself to where you thought you can't be.

2010-12-05T23:55:00.003+08:00

not supposed to be sitting in front of my laptop at this hour typing this on blogspot. Still having problems with waking up at 8am to reach workplace at 10am on time (it only happened on the first day of work). feeling troubled and blue, i figured out maybe it's good to blog here, somehow or rather, i would prefer to pen down my thoughts in my own personal diary but i'm starting to get lazy and due to the fact that i don't exactly have a fantastic handwriting and the word would appear to be floating on the line given-.- However on the contrary, I don't really like the idea of typing my thoughts here to be projected for the whole world to view, but as you can see, I think i can't be bothered now as there's a real need to clear my thoughts to cure my insomnia tonight. (plus the fact that this blog is known to be "close down" so i figured out no one would be interested to come to this site for the time being.)

I guess what I'm facing now would be considered as a down point in my life. yes you hear me right. December? How could anyone be that gloomy during December? A month of festive celebrations and countless of leaves and holidays? But not for me. Maybe it's not as serious as what i imagine. But given that since young, I had lead a pretty good life, with a happy family, parents brought and fed me up well, sent me for gd education etc. Most of the time i have no lack of companions when it comes to pouring out my problems. But today, I felt i was alone. i felt the strong urge for someone to attend to my emotional needs. I just need someone to say "It's ok, it's alright" Yes once in awhile i do need someone to push me a little like "wakeup, you need to move on and stop drowning yourself like that and accept the reality and keep moving forward", but then, i still need someone to stroke my hair and say, "everything is going to be alright":(

It just dawned on me that maybe some people are fated to be independent towards their own emotional needs. I guess I'm one of them. Does it mean i have to mask away the emotional side of me so no one could see, cause if they see it, human principle is what they are gonna point out first before or maybe without showing me some form encouragement gesture.

It bothers me when eventually siblings in my family had different views in lieu to parents' conflicts. It bothers me alot when one party thought im taking sides. All i know is at this point of time, all i wanted is to respect both sides' decision. Thats why i kept quiet.

Nothing is really going smooth for me at this point for time. But at the very least, I just wish for peace and harmony in the Fam family.

2010-11-26T15:06:00.002+08:00

it's been MONTHS since i really blogged. procastinating non stop throughout these few months to create a new blog. somehow this idea died down ever since i start committing to a job you see. office work can be pretty boring and redundant at certain times of the day and that's why you see my best friend lxy who can update her blog during office hours HAHA, that is why i'm being a copycat now:p Desperate for a space for me to spam all my boring thoughts, i decided to update on my supposedly-closed blog, when i INTENDED to do a "revamp" and possibly a new link. disappointed huh people!

oh well some updates of my life. have been working with a tuition centre for months. that was kinda the turning point of my life as their working hours is not the kinda 9-5pm thingy as you need to fit in to the primary students' sch session:( so after work, all you know is to go straight hm, watch taiwan long juan feng and watch ppl bei zao ta -.-(ppl who watch this show will know, forever got ppl bei "zao ta"), and after that its bedtime. I would say it's a pretty healthy lifestyle if you look at a different point of view. But sometimes when i stop walking and look back, I miss those days where i do crazy things with my friends. how we could wander around singapore. to as far as the east side just to take a stroll at ECP and costing me to lose my first havianas(confirm spelling error). But as much as reminisicing those crazy days, we had no choice but to change our lifestyle our usual habits as we advance.

the "working life" shall end in 2010 and I will soon move on to the next pace of my life. Kinda miss schooling, hence the feeling of receiving the letter of acceptance of offer kinda thrilled me for 5 minutes. As soon as 5 minutes were gone, i kinda dreaded and told mummy that by the time i finished schooling i would be 23!!! so how the hell am i going to get married by 25?!:( crazy as it seems, but i really wanna get married soon HAHA.

ok enough of work and school and school and work. BORINGGGGGG~on a lighter note, me shall get my long awaited xbox kinect tomorrow at sitex 2010! since morning, i've been worrying and keep asking yk: what if the demand for the XBOX kinect were good at the sitex and by the time we're going tomorrow it would be sold out?!! i told him i would kill myself if that happens. I've been ranting nonstop to buy this game since teh day it launched (think 20th nov). and then right now i will start singing: so please, please, please, let me, let me, let me, let me, get what i want.... this time.....:(

2010-08-19T15:25:00.003+08:00

I'm a horrible girl. to be exact. i'm a horrible girlfriend. i never give in most of the time. i enjoy arguing till the other party stops misunderstanding me. but one fine day, if you realise that I skipped the arguement part and decided to save this rs rather than to explain my stand, by then you should realise that nothing's more important than saving the relationship from anymore hurt.

I don't know anything. i just know that if none of the party takes the initiative to stop the argument. this relationship is bound to fail.

please appreciate what this horrible girlfriend is trying to do.

2010-06-03T14:55:00.001+08:00

this blog will close down anytime from now.

ask me for the new link! stay tuned!

2010-06-02T23:26:00.002+08:00

you don't understand this person at all.

2010-06-01T00:19:00.002+08:00

granny's health is getting worse. just by listening to how my dad described the physical pain and torture she's going through, i could imagine them all. for grandma went through that pain before.

can't help but reminisce those days. the elegant-looking granny who wears pretty qipao costume on on her yearly celebration as well as cny. how we would celebrate her big day at notably famous restaurants with a huge birthday cake with mahjong tile decos all over. i could still remember a year where me and my cousin each carried a basket of roses, to be distributed to all mummys in the restaurant as coincidently, her birthday were pretty near to Mother's Day. she can be very vain, as to still applying lipstick at the age of 70plus?! :)

there were no celebration this year as granny's health condition wasn't stable. our heart aches for her.

once again, i'll pray hard for her just like how i did for grandma. but this time, i pray that she won't suffer as much pain as grandma did:(

2010-05-31T11:15:00.003+08:00

as much as i wanted to believe how noble love is, it's really sad to say that the presence of the reality make you realise that you can never have this kind of thinking in mind. i'm starting to believe that eventually when i'm 25(okay, the age i'm intending to get married=.=), this guy may not be the one i had loved the most.

i used to believe that so long as you get to marry the one you loved the most in your lifetime, any problems could be worked out. aiyer who's going to guarantee that you tell me.

However, if one day i'm given a choice, i'll still choose this belief. contradicting eh?=s

the past, the present and the future of the other half, which of them makes up the most important determining factor to you? If you ask me, i bet my answer's gonna shock you.

I'm beginning not to understand myself anymore, sometimes i even freak myself out. i look at my going-to-get-married-soon sister, and my going-to-get-married-also boss, my perspective towards love, relationship and marriage changed. why am i becoming so realistic in life. sian leh.

a part of me says that from now on never ever go into a relationship with your true feelings anymore. but the other part of me tells me that, i'm born to be traditional, i can never play around or fool around cause i'm not cut out to do that.

2010-05-25T00:58:00.000+08:00

it will always be.

2010-05-22T17:27:00.000+08:00

i opened up the convo and stared at the blank space for quite some time. no idea what to say. so i closed it.

2010-05-19T01:11:00.003+08:00

说了再见

天亮了雨下了你走了

清楚了我爱的遗失了

落叶飘在湖面上睡着了

想要放放不掉泪在飘

你看看你看看看不到

我假装过去不重要

却发现自己办不到

说了再见才发现再也见不到

我不能就这样失去你的微笑

口红待在桌脚而你我找不到

若角色对调你说好不好

能不能就这样忍着痛泪不掉

说好陪我到老又狠往哪里走

再次拥抱一分一秒都好

你的笑你的好脑海里一直在绕

我的手忘不了你手的温度

心碎了一地捡不回从前的心跳伤心过去我无力逃跑

说再见才发现再也见不到

since young, his ballads never fail to touch my heart. for those lyrics speaks out everything my steel heart feels. that's why i'm still a die hard fan of him.

oh well it's been awhile since i stayed up till 1am plus like now. gotta hit the sack soon. Till then!

2010-05-11T22:59:00.003+08:00

so what's up with me nowadays. to sum it up: eat, work and sleep. of course in between i do catchups with my loved ones. managed to visit my distant relatives over the weekend. it was good. glad to see uncle's biz doing good. glad to know momma's backache not working up for weeks. i could foresee weekends will be damn packed. feeling excited towards all the meetups and celebrations, etc.

i always believe that in life, you should know how to balance your priorities. For me? you could call me selfish or whatsoever. but i don't give any special priority to anyone in my life. i don't believe in giving majority or all of my time only to an individual. and that includes the loved ones. and who in the world says that not giving any majority time to an individual in life means you don't cherish them? what if i say i treat all of em equally, and they all deserve to be treated equally. what if i say i prefer balancing the amount of quality time spent with them, instead of favouring just one party and hang out with this particular person all the time. would all these sound more pleasant to you? that's my whole point:)

plus i think i'm a very weird person. at the lowest point of my life, people would wish their bestest bff would be by their side. of course i do as well. but even if they can't be there, i won't blame them. for in the first place when you already gave her the "bff" status, you should know that these minor factors are not enough for u to judge your position in her heart.

i have 4 girlfriends. and never once do i point any one of them out and give her the "BESTEST BFF" status among the rest. we may always meet up as a clique together but we will always remain as one:)

think i deserve some credit eh finaly decided to blog out some shit! hahahaaaahahah~

2010-05-04T22:36:00.003+08:00

i miss my momma:( it's been a week plus since she's out of town. mother's day coming soon i wanna buy something nice for her!

2010-05-04T00:49:00.001+08:00

it's another working day tomorrow. chargrill bar for dinner again. xy bought a super bra mouse pad (Y) LMAo. hope that siao char bor get the job soon so she can makan lunch at town with me everyday=p oh well time to pack up my feelings and resume back to the workaholic fwt.

maybe i'm just not worth fighting for.

Just don't give up I'm workin' it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around

I need to hear that.

2010-05-02T21:10:00.003+08:00

I have a dream. I saw a glimpse of that future.

2010-04-29T01:06:00.004+08:00

on the way to another appointment. boss said "it's good to see you working hard like that, but please, don't remain single all the way. must find a bf. you still need a someone afterall." i chuckled and look out of the window. and marvelled at how i could laugh it off just like that!

As I go remember all the simple things you know
My mind is just a crutch and I still hope
That you will miss me when I'm gone

No. I don't eat Reese anymore. I don't eat them anymore. and no. I'll not miss you when you're gone.

2010-04-25T15:22:00.003+08:00

fwt just had a nightmare this morning and it's really both scary and hilarious. If someone managed to witness the whole scene, he would probably describe it as an on-the-run movie. lol needless to mention i woke up crying cause it was pretty exhausting man, imagine yourself constantly having to run for your life from police, some bloodsuckers or even HUMANS. reached for my omnia 2 wanting to call for help but no idea who to call. then i recalled a scenario at My Queen:( will I eventually forget how to call for help one day if i'm really in pain? =s

2010-04-21T17:40:00.008+08:00

Emily's 21st at Costa Sands Resort! HAHHAA the first to hit 21 among us! and look at her birthday cake its mad cute please! and she was saying the tree actually "fall off" from the cake=.=lll

beautiful decorations by her boyfriend! how sweeettttt!!~~

aha we bought a BB wallet for her! no more Guess for you already!:p

Glad that you enjoyed your birthday emily! we shall all stay in touch no matter what okay you ah ma! cause you keep calling me LAO KAI MAAA!!!!!

the rest are pretty much random shots and briefly summed up on what have i been up to recently.

minnie's cough is getting worse nowadays and we are all starting to worry=/ as you can see from the pic my face is like shit. had some kinda skin infection 2 weeks back with angry rashes on almost 3/4 of my face really wanna cry can. thank got it is treated by dr louisa tan and i think i like her name!

random prawning session with them few weeks back at guillemard. the prawn there was damn juicy can!

there's one time where minnie accidentally poo-ed on the marble floor instead of the usual newspaper. mummy punished her by isolating her in one corner, claiming that this will teach her to learn. apparently we were all laughing like mad cause the look on minnie's face was priceless and even mummy was laughing too.

was a temporary receptionist for KOP for 2 weeks. i would say its really a good experience for me. given that i've zero experience in admin jobs, plus i've zero experience in making coffee and i don't even know how to operate a photocopy machine. nonetheless, i still love the working environment and it's super damn relaxing and all the high-rank executives there are very friendly!

caught clash of the titans with abang and i really have to say again that my omnia 2's flash is really damn power. just look at me, my face could camou with my white top already! and please ignore my fringe. god, just by looking the fringe just makes me feel irritated x 100.

the damn fringe took weeks to grow and i'm glad its much longer now.

and so ytd while waiting for lowxinyi to reach, i have all the time in world to do some shopping and. yes. camwhoring. thats very not me:s

but i really love this granny pants!!!! mad comfy can!

i'll only do the birthday post when i have all of the photos! lowxinyi!!!!!

2010-04-21T16:28:00.002+08:00

from sk to ah ma hse to ave 5. from taking purple mrt line to green mrt line. from mrt to jazz and mrt again and finally fit. poor or loaded, we shared the burden eat good food crack our brains to settle our meals through the bad times together. you change doc from mapleclinic to newyork to jjchua. my face from flawless to full-of pimple, who brought me to mapleclinic? who saw it all? who was there? who. how can i pretend that this person doesn't exist?

2010-04-20T02:31:00.003+08:00

did my nails with xy and i'm totally in love with my nails now! constantly feeling paranoid that our nails might get chipped by simple action like taking cash out of the wallet=.=llll oh well it was damn fun today, still wondering where did i place my tornadoe card which i've used it only 2 months ago o.O dinner at char grill bar and abang joined us. he's back from tioman! but well he was planning on a second trip there 2 weeks from now, xy and i was thinking of tagging along, we shall see how it goes? =x a job interview in 8 hrs, but that doesnt stop me from having a 2nd round of Ethan through My Queen, every action that his just makes me go OOO AAAAHH OMGGGG WHOAAAAA~ okay sounds pretty dramatic:s But well coincidently i was looking for the tornadoe card in my wallet and this namecard slip out of my wallet and i realise that this particular friend's work office is just one unit away from the company that imma go for interview for later? like what a small world? :D

a switch of music genre calms me down and made me a much happier person:) and i'll promise to do a massive update as soon as i got hold of the pictures aye! and wish me luck tmr!

p.s must be the overdose of dramas and now i'm wondering if i'll bump into him later on? like how it always does in drama? O.o

2010-04-18T17:17:00.004+08:00

from today onwards.

from now on.

from this moment onwards.

fwt shall work very hard to achieve her goals.

i'll amaze you. mark my words.

2010-04-14T01:22:00.001+08:00

if it's purely all about the guilt.

please. let me go.

2010-04-12T23:51:00.002+08:00

never once had i ever stopped counting.

2010-04-11T15:58:00.004+08:00

There are too much words where i wish i could say, and i don't think it's possible for you to hear em. Hence, i wrote it in my personal diary. Hoping one day you had the chance to open up those bottled-up words.

~~I wished i could get over the fact that no one knows me like you do and. vice versa.~~

2010-04-10T15:45:00.002+08:00

I will work hard enough to be able to travel to Japan this year. i'll bring that special someone with me. i don't know who that person will be. at least that's something worth looking forward to:)

long-term yet risky goal.

2010-04-10T14:21:00.003+08:00

" you could remember vividly the number of times you've walked away from me just like that, but i make no effort in recalling each and every memory of it"

"trust me, you will remember. because i do."

how can i stop my tears when i hear that.

2010-04-10T13:32:00.005+08:00

Good Friday seems like a Ladies' nightout for us. went for a shopping spreee with wendy, splurging like nobody's business. and met the girls at town! well that was the day we caught When in Rome and i need not repeat twice on how great was that movie that made me watch a second round ytd night=x

you'll rofl like me if you knew what happened during their dinner at nyny. thus the middle finger. HAHAHA

chilled at alley bar and i refused to take any photo cause my just-trimmed fringe just look like a typical cheena mei mei_l_

i reckon that samsung's flash is the most powerful among any other brands. just so u know, the interior of alleybar is totally dark with few candlelights lit among the tables, BUT NOT OURS!

with them around, drama happens all the time. apparently we were heading to the toilet and heard a loud whistle from nowhere. and jill happen to be walking ahead of us and she screamt=.=lll. even till now we have no idea where the whistle came from:s

and my sister was really lobster red. hmm i see it as a good sign since this shows that she has good blood circulation. and that was the first she tried alcoholic drinks!

supper @ geylang later i can't wait!

6 billion souls,

2010-04-08T23:22:00.002+08:00

I miss you so much and I don't know what to say

Do you ever think about me?
Do you ever cry yourself to sleep?
In the middle of the night when you're awake
Are you calling out for me?
Do you ever reminisce?
I can't believe in nothing like this
I know it's crazy
How I still can feel your kiss

1 It's been six months eight days twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away

Do you ever ask about me?
Do your friends still tell you what to do?
Every time the phone rings,
Do you wish it was me calling you?
Do you still feel the same?
Or has time put out the flame?
I miss you
Is everything okay?

It's hard enough just passing the time
When I can't seem to get you off my mind
And where is the good in goodbye?
Tell me why, tell me why

time flies. it's been 6 months 8 days. to be exact.

2010-04-06T23:42:00.003+08:00

"What makes you love someone has little to do with the number of wonderful qualities they possess. It's about glimpsing something inside them that nobody else can see and realising you've always needed it, even though you didn't know you're were looking. It's about inventing a reality that is true only for the two of you."

awesome quote from my awesome book!

2010-04-05T01:45:00.003+08:00

can't breathe easy tonight

Out of my mind
Nothing makes sense anymore
I w y b i m l
That's all I'm breathing for

2010-04-05T01:35:00.001+08:00

instantly.

i really don't know how to help myself anymore.

2010-04-04T15:10:00.003+08:00

sometimes i really do amaze myself in many ways. it could be in a good or bad way. was getting the hang of the workaholic mood until i decided to skip a day of work today, thinking that i really deserve a good rest after working for consecutively 6 days. and this gave my mind the opportunity to start wandering again. i really have to say i really can't control my emotions well. SHIT:( i hate to say but yes, you just got that power to make or break me.

clash of the titans later can't wait. and another sinful dinner after that=x

2010-04-03T03:46:00.002+08:00

sometimes i still do wish that lightning would strike me for just once. i'll be contented if fhat person turns out to be you.
" i'll still love him back even if he doesn't!"

it is clear that i'm totaly in love with the "when in rome" movie. i practically grab xy's hand at certain scenes when i could totally feel what kristen bell went through=/

2010-03-31T01:04:00.002+08:00

if they fall out. i think i will breakdown like mad and isolate myself from everyone i know.

man i really need someone to talk to.

2010-03-29T02:01:00.003+08:00

ITS MONDAY 2AM RIGHT NOW I HAVE AN INTERVIEW TMR IN THE MORN I THINK I WILL UPDATE WHEN I GET BACK:D

THIS IS CRAZY BUT I REALLY WANNA GO JAPAN THIS YEAR CANNOT TAHAN EVERYTHING IS JUST SO AWESOME THERE OMG I DON'T WANT ANY PRADA TOTE OR FERRGAMO BALLERINA PUMPS OR BOTTEGA WALLET OR LOEWE AMAZON ANYMORE JAPAN JAPAN JAPAN JUST SPELLS A-W-E-S-O-M-E!

2010-03-26T04:01:00.005+08:00

i could think about it all the time. totally going through what you used to went through. i don't blame any souls. and strongly believes that everything happens for a reason.

and they were saying that in life, you don't get to marry a person you love the most eventuallyo.O

not that i'm trying to up my expectations(like as if it's not unrealistic enough), i'm just not game enough for games anymore.

i don't believe in fighting against my true feelings, trying not to feel what i'm feeling, this sounds pretty torturous eh?=s

i would prefer to lie low, believing in my own beliefs, and staying true to my own feelings.

overwhelming emotions do struck me at times though, and thats when distractions such as having a good book by your side, or retail therapy, comes in handy.

we screamt we cried we laughed we stumbled we weathered through all the heavy rainstorms. at the very least i knew for once. that love was for real.

2010-03-21T21:47:00.005+08:00

had a freaking tired weekend.

furthermore, who loves working during the weekend man:(

but well at least we had found a new hangout.

the new hangout where xy and i practically stared at the pool of darkwater for a good 3 hours.

obvious enough eh? :p

so what's next for fwt?! probably gonna search for long-hours job that will keep me as busy as i'm allowed to. and still hesitating on whether to be present for tioman trip:( feeling excited towards the upcoming aussie trip with family, could be during early 2011 as momma is not very happy with Dec's weather.

no one will remember this special day anymore.

and this day will probably mark the closing of the most insane chapter of my life:)

2010-03-19T00:25:00.002+08:00

This is random but yeah kinda miss snoopy, wonder how's that naughty babyboy doing now eh. is he still like a crazy baby going around chewing on all sorts of objects that are made of cloth. does he still go into the toilet and lick up the water that contains detergent. oh well that babyboy's probably 6-7months now. TIME FLIESS~

2010-03-18T22:09:00.012+08:00

did the post-cny spring cleaning for my ever-messy com room today and now it looks as neat as before! manage to find some interesting stuffs that has been hiding inside the cupboard. time really flies~

nostalgic.

i hope the girls won't scream at me for putting this up but it's seriously too funny that i can't resist posting em! oh girls tell me how long ago is that eh. these photo machines were like our second home apart from school, how we will head straight to JURONG POINT's printing club and tossing those coins into the machine and pose nonstop. well at least i never regret splurging my allowance on these machines cause everything changes, but images captured will stay the same forever?:) and mind you these photos are like out of the 100 over photos that i own and i bet it's the same for the rest of my girls eh? CLICK ON THE PHOTO FOR A BETTER VIEW. HAVE A GOOD LAUGH PEEPS!

feeling really fat nowadays need to start working out man, and the thought of my track shoes still lying around at lor kismis allowed me to postpone my workout routine to god-knows-when? oh dear fwt you just gotta admit that you're merely being pure lazy=/

and Isetan just rang me up to remind me to collect my soon-to-be-expired vouchers at the TAMPINES OUTLET WTF:(

TGIF tomorrow! gonna meet up the happy 3 friends as usual eh!

minnie's getting healthier and all fluffy again. still as adorable as ever and the happy pill in our family:))

the things that she does never fail to make the whole family laugh. how can we not love her!

i think i'm pretty contented with where i am now.

2010-03-16T19:51:00.009+08:00

Well had an impromptu catchup session with the girls on last tuesday. why impromptu? because initially it was only we happy 3 friends meeting up didn't know yy came back from bkk and eileen's back from outer space since i don't know when. zhi char for dinner near wh's place and totally loved all the dishes we ordered.

apparently we ordered some dishes that has pork and wh's not supposed to eat any of those, thus we ordered more dishes after that!

tioman trip's status was being downgraded from confirmed to pending:( looks like not everyone could make it there. plus me lacking of a companion too:(:(:(

flyer job for M1 @ IT show. well all i can say is that i think i'm really getting old you see. can't really stand the crowds and the constant blasting from the speaker by the mc. BUT. the speaker really did a good job in waking me up from my sleepy mode with all the R&B hits heh. met nice colleagues there, saw many familiar faces and not to forget daddy who came down to support me on the last day! overall it was a pretty good experience and i spent more time talking cock then distributing the flyers and hence time pass by faster!

Went IMM for a job interview today, just hope to start work asap instead of bumming around ever since exams ended. I could sense the workaholic in me is starting to surface again eh!

Told myself recently that it's time to tone-down and eliminate that drama part of my life. Had a job interview today, bumped into a stranger today. Can't believe we sat down and chatted for 2 hrs like we were long-lost buddies!! I swear it was really too random that everything just happened too fast=s

and just nice when we were ending the convo soon YY&MH walked past the roadshow LOL. you bet we 3 were like laughing like hell cause a similar scenario happened exactly a week ago. so yeah it was mh's 20th birthday and they were damn nice to give me a lift home!

HAPPY 20TH MINGHUI!!!!

Thus, that gives a thumbs-down to my

current resolution - lowkeylowkeylowkeylowkey. FAIL.

2010-03-10T01:33:00.004+08:00

the decision that i've made for myself is so firm that sometimes it just scares me. think i really love the idea of being alone. i'm not cold. don't worry. and i don't hate guys. HAHAHAHA.

and i don't really need any attention from em (yes this is the part where i'm totally freaking myself out).

on a happier note. tioman trip is more or less confirmed! *jump with joy*

will promise to update this space as soon as i got the pictures from the girls and meanwhile, have fun people!!

oh ya and i'm very into hats these days after being inspired by the rwb's model!=x

well.

i never told you.

and i never told anyone.

and no one will ever know till you ever question me on that.

or maybe i won't?

2010-03-07T16:22:00.002+08:00

你曾说不想有天让我知道

You had said that you didn't want me to find out
对他有那么好

How good you treat him
妳說會懂我的失落

You said you understood it takes more than
不是靠寬容就能夠解脫

compassion to let go off feeling dejected

我以为我出现的时候刚好

I thought that I showed up at the right time

你和他正说要分开

You and him were about to break up
我以为你已对他不再期待

I thought you no longer have further anticipation from him
不纵容他再给你伤害

and will not tolerate the pain he caused you

我以为我的温柔

I thought that my gentleness

能給妳整個宇宙
would mean the universe to you
我以为我能全力填满你感情缺口

I thought I was able to fill the void in your love life
专心陪在你左右

Focusing on being by your side
弥补他一切的错

Making up for all his mistakes
也许我太过天真

Perhaps I've been too naive
以为奇迹会发生

thinking that miracle happens

他让你红了眼眶

He made you cry
你却还笑着原谅

But you still forgave him with a smile
原来你早就想好

Turned out you already decided
你要留在谁身旁

Who you wanted to be with
我以为我够坚强

I thought I was strong enough
却一天天地失望

But I became more disappointed as days pass by

却输得那呢绝望

But I lost with so much despair
少给我一点希望

If you had given me less hope
希望就不是奢望

Then hope wouldn't have become so excessive

我以为终究你会慢慢明白

I thought you would eventually realize
他的心不在你身上

His heart was no longer with you
我的关心你依然无动于衷

You continue to be indifferent to my concerns

我的以为只是我以为

My assumption is just that I assumed

2010-03-03T02:30:00.003+08:00

new style new look for the boring-fwt very soon!

p.s and this friend of mine just told me that too much tears will lead to blindness WTF?!

2010-03-02T12:59:00.002+08:00

na na na here's my current addiction man.

everyone must watch Autumn Concerto!

the song kinda sucks but the lyrics were kinda meaningful eh?

NOT SUITABLE FOR THE WEAK HEARTS HEH.

2010-03-01T20:29:00.002+08:00

i reckon that i will just continue to weep my days away if i were to consistently watch 4-5 episodes of Autumn Concerto PER DAY. especially when one feels really really down.

ahhh it's gonna be one long process that i've to go through once again after so many years.

everything is gonna be alright fwt. it's gonna be alright. better luck next time.

oh wait. will there still be a next time?:(

2010-02-28T03:15:00.007+08:00

"If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with. You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me. But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you I hope you have a great day. You’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite my thinking that it is impossible."

Found this on someone's facebook profile man. interesting! And currently i'm so hooked onto Autumn Concerto, it's highly recommended by yours truly! Though it's like a yet another poor-girl-meets-the-wealthy-man kinda storyline again=.=ll Not that i'm a sucker for that, i just love watching the process of a love blooming, it's so pure and surreal~ Oh well enough of that time to hit the sack man it's like 320am now!

2010-02-25T00:42:00.001+08:00

now i really believe daphne that this yahoo horoscope is damn fucking accurate. okay at least for this time la!

2010-02-23T23:18:00.000+08:00

爱不爱我已经没关系

一点小伤而已
你可以很放心
我不会为了留你
假装可怜兮兮

2010-02-20T23:53:00.003+08:00

FWT.

you had went through too much shit to become what you are now.

show them what you're capable of.

this teeny weeny obstacle is not going bring u down at all.

no tears, no grumbling, no ranting, no bragging.

stay cool. stay beautiful.

2010-02-08T01:36:00.002+08:00

A note to self...

There's no deny that we human beings, will make wrong choices or decisions in life.

Now that you had made the wrong choice, you gotta live with the consequences. And there's no reason for you to expect others to pity you for being in such a sorry state.

I guess this is how we learn.

I'm just feeling so remorseful and i could keep on saying fmlfmlfmlfmlfml x 10000. But it's still not gonna change anything. Why not try to do something while you can?? But that is not going to stop me from being pessimistic.

You don't even have to try to understand my words because i just need a space to rant out all the guilts i had right now.

yes it's Monday 1.47am right now.

2010-02-02T23:29:00.004+08:00

the reason why two is better than one:)

Say it again for me

Cause I love the way it feels when you are telling me that I'm

The only one who blows your mind

Say it again for me

It`s like the whole world stops to listen

When you tell me you`re in love

And it feels like it`s the first time

That anybody's ever brought the sun without the rain

And never in my whole life

Have I heard words as beautiful as when you say my name

Blissful and thankful:)

2010-01-31T01:29:00.003+08:00

time check: 1.29am. don't know what i'm hoping for. after finishing 3 epi of hi my sweetheart and still waiting. oh well felt so hopeless for being in such a state. refusing to change into pajamy refusing to admit the fact that im hm on a saturday at 10pm. is my temper starting to act up? hey no one is to be blamed here but well not even a text message received im starting to wonder already. GET A LIFE FAMWEITING.

DO YOU KNOW??: never ever leave a person alone when you know she's more or less feeling upset over something you're aware of! :D

2010-01-18T00:33:00.005+08:00

worked at bpp for singtel (thx yao!) this weekend. pretty shag on saturday cause its been awhile since i'm working the usual 8hr shift. was telling yao the other day about those days where how energetic we were during the early days of poly, like after lesson chiong to lp for half pm shifts etc. now look at us, we are all shag and tired everyday no matter how early or late the lesson ends. but well the moolahs are really motivating me and working just made me feel less useless for ive stopped working for since oct. gotta limit on my spending and stop having the mindset of i-can-always-turn-to-momma-when-my-moolahs-are-running-out:(

but okkay anyway at least things were better with the loved ones around. met lxys after work on sat and had a quick dinner at lai lai before xingyi heads hm. big hug to wh for coming down to find us when he was pretty shag and intend to rest at hm at a FREAKiNG 10pm. mr homer-wannabe came and acc me for lunch on sunday and ate dinner at railmail tgt at EAT and chilled at ah mei. i realise he's getting more and more dramatic srsly really cant help laughing when he's ard and he could talk like march simpson. HOW?

zoukout 09 was damn fun. and i could see major improvements on the lightings and booths, etc. company was gd except that most didnt turn up due to ticketing problem:( music was a lil lousier this yr and rnb music starting coming in at a freaking 4am?:( but well overall it was a gd experience and i don mind going this year again!

and so we had this so-called pre-xmas celebration at pan pac on 19th thanks to ben!:) crazy costumes, role-plays, indian poker, some chicken games and drinking made the whole night so LMAO.

the very next day after panpac. low xinyi and i head hm and get changed. with little energy left. we head to celebrate our xmas baby's bdae in advance! everyone was present and that was the best part of teh celebration:) so the worst? we planned a singing session and ksuites only to find that teh whole place was booked by some big shot for teh night and yeah thats it. so we settled at chevrons ktv. as usual. hahahaa. glad that she's happy nonetheless and i believed she had teh same thinkin with me too! - because everyone's present:D

tiff's 23rd @ rebel was really a blast. bumped into yao and anni and their friends! drank too much that night and got really damn high and the evidence are all on xy's cam so embarassing! but well most importantly is that the bdae girl enjoyed herself!:)

oh yeah xmas eve was awesome. had dinner with ben at oosh that night! great ambience, ultra romantic place for couples. but what's the best thing? zero photo taken when we were there=.= okay anyway food is alright and he got me a very special prezzie for xmas:p movie at lido and went off to rebel and find the usuals. so uhm yeah we were in the movie theatre when teh clock strikes 12. lol?

dinner-ed at no signboard with family and i head to ben's place meet the rest and pass prezzie to his family! forgot that we were supposed to head butter for that night and so i went there. underdressed. felt like shit for awhile and yeah music was acceptabel hehe. met up xy after that supper at lao pa sat and we 3 headed back to west.

new year eve at zh's place! steamboat at his hse and i swear the ingredients that he bought are really of top quality! commoners like me buy steamboat ingerdients at fairprice but those that he bought are from isetan one sia! so we were gambling teh night away and luck wasnt really on my side that night. in fact im quite lousy when it comes to gambling and im sure everyone there whos present will agree to thsi totally. slacked at his hse waiting for zh to come back from rebel and we went back hm!

whoa cant belive ive just summed up the highlights of december 2009 like that! shall be back with more updates. till then!

2010-01-16T03:39:00.002+08:00

let's just face it. no one is perfect. and for some reason, i feel so out of place tonight. okay time check. 3.41am on a friday night. i have a confession. it really took me years. to cultivate this current personality of mine. to be sociable, cheerful, never ever be calculative, to be much more flexible, and i will still laugh with you even you called me a bimbo or blur queeen, etc. and yes i really mean years. =l

so whats the point of this entry? :s just wanna blabber some nonsense for i really felt very empty tonight, seems like im heading to no where? could it be due to the characteristics of a hakka like what ben told me? argh bloody hell.

and i realy need to update my wardrobe. i want MORE APPARELS.

oh ya no idea if anyone's still reading my page but well, hope you guys do as im gonna do a massive update very soon!

2009-12-12T15:58:00.002+08:00

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone
I'm already gone, already gone

You can't make it feel right
when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone
Already gone, already gone, already gone

2009-11-23T14:47:00.002+08:00

everyday i ask myself the same question. "will i get over you one day?"

2009-11-19T14:29:00.000+08:00

because of you, i don't know how to let anyone else into my heart.

2009-11-12T22:00:00.002+08:00

i miss.
everything.
about.
us.

fuckit.

2009-11-08T19:43:00.002+08:00

i can't describe the heartache. i can't explain my yest's doings either. but i know that the connection is always there. i'm still attached to you. i can't breakfree.

i thought this one crazy week i had would totally numb me. but seems like it got worse and now i really don't know what's gonna happen man.

can i just heck everything and get back to you.

2009-11-03T02:23:00.002+08:00

i'm scared.

i'm great at at pretending.

pretending that i am firm with my decision.

in fact, i'm frightened.

i live with fear each day.

the fact that someone important in my life is not there anymore.

i fear that one day i'll start to soften again and everything would be back to the cycle.

2009-10-28T22:17:00.002+08:00

i think of a lot of things.
i think of crazy things all the time.

i wonder what if one day you and me became strangers.
what could we say?
how does it feels like, to talk to u in a stranger way.

i'm just being insane. everything is tearing apart.
and yet i bring a smile with me all the time.
i'm not alright. really.

2009-10-25T16:03:00.003+08:00

awesome weekend.

sentosa spooky hse.
supper at redhill.
prawning at jurong.
jurong mac for 2nd supper session.
haunted hse at jalan bahar.

with great companies.

photos up soon!

p.s. lee min ho didn't appear at ps ytd as the event is cancelled due to security reasons.

2009-10-21T23:57:00.002+08:00

i wished we had more time. not just saturdays. but then i need to be more understanding and the fact that 6-month fyp shit is not easy at all.

life would be better for us from nov onwards.
hang in there darl.
:(

2009-10-18T23:14:00.005+08:00

slacked at JCO at T1. after that went jp for sushi, then back to my hse early cause i was not feeling well.

wah they make friends very fast. look at minnie, LOL

but whenever he stand up, she'll start barking and barking. and when he squats down, she'll let him sayang, probably she's disturbed by his height? hoho

you made me angry again. but still, happy 31st!
darl's bringing forward the celebration as his fyp schedule is making him damn busy.

lovelove~

2009-10-18T22:39:00.006+08:00

steamboat gathering few weeks back with the girls. yes we are all emphasising this two words : FULL ATTENDANCE. the bonding session was awesome! we just do what do best: chat, laugh and gossip.

those days were memorable, and we all look so kiddy!

let's look forward to the next bbq session although the venue is not yet decided yet! full attendance is a must! :)

2009-10-14T21:24:00.002+08:00

went turf club's ah yat with clement last friday. yes i know the quality of the photo is really damn bwg. Thanks to someone who forgot to bring camera out and i gotta use my pathetic phone to snap the food=.= just you wait, omnia 2 is on the way now.

but anyway, the food was nice. i wouldn't say fantastic, if you were to ask me to compare between red star dimsum and these. i would say i prefer ah yat's bo lo bao and also red star's fried wanton and egg tart! :)

when we settled down, this guy just automatically snatched (not really snatch la) the menu and began to concentratingly tick the dishes like as if he's the only one eating. i was pretty puzzled by his action.

i was like "oi, why u never ask me what i wanna eat"

"because i know what you like to eat, and you're a monster, i know you're gonna gobble this 10dishes up"

indeed, that 10dishes were all my favourute EXCEPT that weird fried redbean + banana=.= what a weird combinatin and that idiot say he likes!

that's probably one of the reason why i like about him, for i know even if one day im just too lazy to browse through that food menu, he'll still able to order me something that i like!!

the effort. the pamperings. the love. will keep us together:)

2009-09-30T23:03:00.001+08:00

everyone must watch FAMILY GUY it's mad funny okay!

thanks to clement lim, i'm laughing my ass off watching this show can!!!

2009-09-30T10:10:00.002+08:00

tell me.

how could you describe a perfect love like this?

it's just beyond words.

:D

we must go maldives together next year clement lim! HEHE~

2009-09-22T22:17:00.002+08:00

everyone go watch "how i met your mother"! i laughed like mad when i watched the 1st epi just now!!

and yao yao, yes yes we definitely need to meet up on some weekends! emily and daphne also!:D

i've been slping at 10plus almost every night ever since i start work. and i still feel extremely tired when i wake up. duhhhhhhhhh. okay im very tired now. GOODNIGHT!

2009-09-21T22:57:00.004+08:00

oh yeah the long weekend is over, back to the normal routine. And yeah i had a great weekend. Saturday clem picked me from kembangan and we went shopping and movie and then to bedok 85. he ordered porkmeat porridge, chicken wings and char kway teow for me and lao niang cant finish, plus he's restricted to vegetarian food tat day and cant share with me.

sunday met up lohxinyi to suntec food fair! too bad we didnt get to see gab and his oven, and we couldnt find any taiwan xiang chang! damn sad, so we just settled for sharks fin, tako ball and honey sago! the honey sago is POWER. i finished 'em all okay! then met up uncle ben and zen and their friends go chinatown's ten dollar club ktv sing till 1am, had lotsa lotsa fun! then supper at lau pa sat and home sweet home.

today met up the bitch again and watched inglourious basterds. the show lasting for 2.5 hours! i wont recommend that show unless you need to kill time or interested in the conflicts between teh jews and german and the famous adolf hitler history. and it was quite surprisin that we both didnt fall asleep! HAHA. after movie met up mummy and home sweet home.

time's not gonna wait for anyone.

2009-09-21T22:03:00.000+08:00

menopause,

how to deal with it.

all or nothing baby.

2009-09-14T17:18:00.000+08:00

sometimes i think to myself. it's just not very fair to my mum at all. she's just so nice to you and you think she's mean all the time. i won't let my guards down so easily this time.

on a lighter note, thanks for coming down jurong to acc me see doctor, lunch@jp, send me home.

but life still goes on.

2009-09-14T00:05:00.000+08:00

I wonder why it is
I don't argue like this
With anyone but you
I wonder why it is

I won't let my guard down
For anyone but you
We do it all the time
Blowing out my mind

idiot xueqi, i know you're laughing at me again!!!!! hahahaaa

2009-09-13T15:07:00.001+08:00

went cycling @ ecp with my primary school girls. it was a tiring day but still i wish that day never ends!!:) however, got into an accident while cycling and i got 2 ugly and disguising bruises on my shoulder and knee. shall be going to the doc tmr:(

and i don't think that i'm PHYSICALLY FIT to go for work tomorrow!:D

mummy's back from KL! she bought my favourite tau sar piah and im just so very happy!

2009-09-10T19:58:00.001+08:00

no, i don't wanna open my eyes. i'm gonna shut it as tight as i could.

the vision hurts.

oh ya my sis just reminded me today is paris&milan's last episode already, going to watch now. didn't update logbook for ytd's and today's. ahhh gonna do it tmr.

2009-09-09T23:22:00.000+08:00

a small gathering with the girl had made a big difference to my monotonous life! i just can't stop talking and laughing with them! xingyi wasnt there as she's too shag from the attachment, we same same man:(

but anyway, teh main purpose for teh gathering is to celebrate yingyan's birthday!

HAPPY 19TH YEONG YINGYAN! stop growing taller cause it's damn difficult to take photo with you! LOL. many loves!~

and im quite excited as we are finally deciding on a getaway this year. fyi, we've been discussing about this since we were in the 1st year of poly. LOL. this time more ppl are joinng us! very excited! cause everyone's bringing their partner along!:D

okay meanwhile stay tuned for pics kay? i'll post teh pics as soon as i got hold of it!:)

2009-09-08T19:59:00.000+08:00

suddenly i feel like i wanna do alot of things man. ya again=.=. too little time to do alot of things man:(

but im looking forward to tmr. i haven seen my girls for very long already!:D

2009-09-07T22:12:00.000+08:00

"ur pattern becomes predictable and then he slide into this comfort zone,where he knows you're not going anywhere. thats why he can be bo chap. cos he know at the end of the day, you'll still be waiting for him. its a nice feeling la but not to be abused.you need to once in awhile remind him that just because you're his gf doesn't mean that you're not wanted."

2009-09-07T20:25:00.000+08:00

i told mummy that, i wake up every morning, praying that i would sneeze, cough, sore throat and catch a serious flu.

why??

BECAUSE THATS THE BEST EXCUSE TO SKIP WORK:(

super jialat i know=.=

2009-09-06T12:14:00.000+08:00

just when i've decided to go hk with sis for a getaway. she then told me it'll be during november. fuck i'm still schooling. damn depressed. cannot blame her though, it's a last minute decision actually.

AND

mummy's going kl for a getaway during this month and i'm gonna miss it due to tis bloody attachment. When will i go back to Sunway Lagoon again! fuckfuckfuckfuck. pardon me for grumbling so much early in the morning:( too much things happened within the shortest time. can't really take the blow.

yingyan's birthday celebration on mon/wed/fri.
cycling session with the pri sch girls @ ecp on sat.

i really wanna make myself present on these 2 events! :((((((((

and g-force. who's gonna watch it with me this time?

2009-09-03T20:59:00.003+08:00

attachment started on monday. oh well. work given to me was okay, just that i'm just not very into telemarketing you see. BUT. what makes me wanna feel like dying everyday, is the working hours. it just reminds me of those sec sch days whereby the huayians have to bloody assemble in quadrangle at 7.20AM. really dun know how did i survive that 4 years man. lao niang hate waking up at 6.30 EVERYDAY!

and i passed my tp today! i was so nervous for the whole morning and the night before that i don dare to let the whole world to know that im taking the test, even my mum also! but shes smart la, she knew im gonna take test this mornin but didnt say much cause im damn f nervous before i left home. the feeling's just like taking o-level exam, very kua zhang right!

mummy cooked all my favourites dishes today and i simply couldnt resist! im so damn guilty la, keep eating nonstop:( but anyway, ive decided to be more disciplined by going to Amore at least 2 times a week from next week onwards, their lessons such as bellydance cardiolatino etc are like so fun la! LOL. good luck to me mann:)

2009-09-03T20:59:00.000+08:00

2009-08-30T18:00:00.001+08:00

半情歌 (Fated to love you song theme)

花接受凋零风接受追寻
心的伤还有一些不要紧
我接受你的决定

你将会被谁抱紧唱什么歌哄他开心
我想着天空什么时候会放晴
地球不曾为谁停一停

你的明天有多快乐不是我的
我们的爱是唱一半的歌
时间把习惯换了伤口愈合
也撤销我再想你的资格

你的祝福一半甜的一半苦的
像我手中冷掉的可可
最最教人残念的总是未完成的
我只能唱着一半的歌

你将会被谁抱紧唱什么歌哄他开心
我想着天空什么时候会放晴
地球不曾为谁停一停

你的明天有多快乐不是我的
我们的爱是唱一半的歌
时间把习惯换了伤口愈合
也撤销我再想你的资格

你的祝福一半甜的一半苦的
像我手中冷掉的可可
最最教人残念的总是未完成的
我只能唱着一半的歌

我的明天快不快乐都是我的
我们的爱是唱一半的歌
时间把习惯换了伤口愈合
也撤销我再想你的资格

browse through my playlist to listen to this song.

2009-08-30T12:59:00.000+08:00

went to jb for a short getaway trip to visit granny and gathering dinner. granny's getting weaker and weaker.

i no longer see the granny who used to be very healthy and strong. she used to have a pair of really strong legs! such that she could even join us for shopping sprees and comb thru the whole orchard with us. she used to be vvvvv vain, she visits the hair salon regularly to do her hair, never fail to wear qipao every year we celebrates her birthday. she used to tell us that fann wong's not even pretty at all! she often sits my uncle's powerbike and come to our house for dinner, damn zai! now granny's as fragile as a child. i'm gonna pray that granny's gonna live life happily and will never have to fight with illnesses like how my maternal grandma did.

okay very emo already.on a happier note, i found an outfit which i love it like mad! gonna wear it to my cousin's wedding next month! excited!:D

2009-08-28T23:04:00.000+08:00

blogger's layout still not fixed=/ but anyway,,,

exam's over! killer paper's over!

time to move forward. there's just too much things in life to consider about. gotta be independent. gotta be on my own. time to be strong fwt! oh ya, G-force seems like an awesome movie! wanna watch leh. who's on!? i'm meeting bestfriends tmr at our usual hangout!:) and i wanna get SIMS 3!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-08-26T01:57:00.002+08:00

i think i've already made up my mind. and no, it's not on impulse. i've seen it and experience it myself. though i don't know how it's gonna change my life, but i will try.

2009-08-25T14:08:00.001+08:00

had bmd paper today. it went smoothly!:D 1 more paper and i'm done with my 2nd last sem. looking forward to this coming Friday! finally finally finally!

oh ya and if nigel happens to see this. HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY! sorry that i couldn't turn up for the bdae celebration few days back. i'll treat u to enaq like how we did 2 years back. HAHAHAHAHA.

and happy belated 23rd birthday to uncle ben! cheer up and introduce more chiobus to me! MUAHAHAHA. you need a birthday treat!....... provided risa permits me to? hehe

and yyy's birthday is coming soon! girlfriends! we need some PLANNING SESSION alright? i miss everyone!

and something random, actress liulingling actually lost 11kg for eating less rice, wholemeal bread and less fried food! why didn't i lose any fats when im eating oatmeal for breakfast, wholemeal bread, and BROWN RICE for dinner?:( plus i haven't been eating supper and liulingling does!! this is freaking unfair!:(((((((((((

2009-08-12T17:47:00.000+08:00

i've finally edited my age under the profile. how nice would it be to stay 18 forever huh. ahhh this site is getting more and more boring man. probably wont be updating any interesting activities i had done these past few months with my lovely friends, including the tw trip with the family(god, that's freaking long!). guess i've lost the blogging mood? ahh i've became a pretty boring person, doing boring things, leading a boring and lonely life. nothing much had changed, except that i've got the BOF syndrome! still mad about lee minho, still dreaming of when are the 4 guys gonna come sg, which they won't, after checking their schedule:(

feel like doing alot of things you know! wanna relaxxxxx. wanna go for cycling at ecp someday... wanna go seafood paradise eat again someday..... wanna eat all the foods ieatishootipost had introduced..... wanna fly back to taiwan and continue shopping someday ..... wanna go KL again and play all the rides in sunway lagoon..... want mummy to cook steamboat everyday..... wanna buy alot alot of clothes.....wanna go korea and find gu jun pyo..... wanna eat brownie at spagheddis someday....... wanna watch 2 movies in 1 day.....wanna go for flyer ride... wanna experience cable car dinner.......wanna go prawning with my noisy friends.......ahhhhh i really wanna do all these things man!

oh ya something random, i lost my watch at home when i got home from rebel. it's been lying around somewhere i guess but cant manage to find it for many days already! reallly sad lor:(

okay enough already think i better don't update as often cause my words are boring everyone! i think you guys can start calling me a "ZHAI NU" already. okay don't understand go ask ur friends. going back to revise brf, good luck in revising everyone!

2009-07-15T18:16:00.001+08:00

HAHAHAHAHHAHA. now this is damn hilarious!! and i have no wonder why little woobin is so ermmmmmm?????

2009-07-11T01:05:00.002+08:00

in the midst of fighting the war, i sat down and tried to analyse things.

and i believe that you had really changed. more to the good side. ytd i was too stubborn and too mad to see all these things.

i start to rmb things like how u started to listen to my fav bof song themes and argued with me that yijeong sunbae is hotter than gu jun pyo.

i start to rmb things like how u took down the addresses and venues of places from tv shows so that u could bring me to eat alot of good food.

and i'm starting to believe that you are really making some kinda future plans for us.

however, at this moment, our war hasnt really ended yet. but at least, such kinda thoughts made me smile and more relieved.

2009-06-30T19:59:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO LEEMINHO!

i can't believe that he is at taiwan during my first day there! awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

AND GUESS WHAT. I FOUND THIS VIDEO!!!

omg lmh can actually sing! but he's like damn shy la keep closing his eyes. i keep watching this video over and over again!!! >.<

2009-06-26T01:18:00.002+08:00

seriously, what more could i say.

2009-06-21T18:22:00.002+08:00

i'm mad.
i'm not happy.
you forgot the things u should rmb.

what have i been thinking for the whole night when i was at ph.
sigh.

today's 21st.
doesnt seem to be significant anymore?

with all the problems and conflicts,
im gonna leave for taiwan with a heavy heart tmr.

2009-06-20T01:49:00.004+08:00

CONTINUING FROM THE PREVIOUS POST.

EVIL BIATCH. IM GONNA DO THIS SUPER BO LIAO THING FOR THE LAST TIME.

LISTEN UP. AND YEAH YOU ARE REFERRING TO ME AS THE FUCKING FRIEND WHO BETRAYED MY GOOD FRIEND. BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING, IM GONNA MAKE A PUBLIC APOLOGY TO LIMXINGYI, FOR THE PREVIOUS CONFLICTS WE HAVE. AND IF YOU ARE GONNA USE THIS BLOODY ISSUE TO GET BACK AT US, I WOULD SAY, YOUR EFFORT IS DEFINITELY APPRECIATED. BUT IM SO SORRY TO SAY THAT DON'T EVER COMPARE MY FRIENDSHIP WITH LIMXINGYI AND MY FRIENDSHIP WITH YOURS. YOU SHOULD KNOW VERY WELL THAT THE WAY YOU MEASURE FRIENDSHIP IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM ME.

AND REGARDING THAT LONG WISHLIST THAT YOU'RE VERY UNHAPPY ABOUT. I DO BELIEVE I DO PLAY A PART AS I REMEMBER LISTING DOWN MY WISHLIST EH! DIDN'T REALISE YOU HAVE AN ISSUE WITH THAT EITHER. I DID REMEMBER DELETING THE POST AFTER PUTTING IT UP FOR A DAY? DON'T FUCKING ASK ME WHY BECAUSE U DON'T HAVE TO KNOW. AT THE VERY LEAST I DON'T EXPECT MY FRIENDS TO GET ME THE EXACT ITEMS FROM THE WISHLIST. AND TALKING ABOUT WISHLIST, BIRTHDAY PRESENTS, AREN'T YOU EVEN MORE POWERFUL AT THAT? WHY DID I SAY THAT? AHHHHH THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION. GO FUCKING ASK URSELF WHAT U DID.

AMOUNT OF THINGS THAT YOU HAD DONE TO US IS WAY OVER LIMIT. YOUR SELF-CENTRED-NESS. HOW U COULD USE MONEY TO MEASURE FRIENDSHIP. HOW YOU COULD BE CALCULATIVE TOWARDS US OVER THE SILIEST THING. I CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY I HAD ALWAYS TREATED YOU AS ONE OF MY BEST FRIEND. AND DON'T FUCKING DOUBT MY FRIENDSHIP WITH U, AND DON'T FUCKING TELL ME FRIENDS SHOULD ALWAYS ACCEPT ONE ANOTHERS FLAWS, FOR I'VE (OR RATHER WE) ALREADY DONE OUR BEST IN TOLERATING ALL OF YOUR SHITS. I SWEAR I ACCEPTED FOR WHO U ARE, I SHARED WHATEVER I LIKE WITH YOU. I (X AND Y TOO)GOT A BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR YOU WHICH I MYSELF WOULD LOVE TO OWN IT SO MUCH, EVEN AFTER I HEARD SOME HURTFUL NEWS REGARDING YOU SAYING ABOUT ME.

PROBABLY RIGHT FROM THE START, WE COULDNT BE FRIENDS. FOR I'M NOT AS WEALTHY AS YOU. NOT AS SMART AS YOU. I DON'T HAVE THE NICE COMPLEXION YOU HAVE. ETC.

TO THINK THAT LIMXINGYI WAS ONCE YOUR GOOD FRIEND (OKAY I WONDER DID U EVEN TREAT HER AS ONE IN THE FIRST PLACE). YES YOU MAY STILL CHOOSE TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME EVEN THOUGH I WILL BELIEVE XINGYI RATHER THAN YOU. BUT I HAVE TO SAY THAT, I WON'T WANT THIS FRIENDSHIP ANYMORE. FOR YOU'VE SHOWED YOUR TRUE COLOURS. YOU'VE SHOWED OF WHAT YOU'RE CAPABLE OF. AND THIS, IS NOT THE FRIEND THAT I WANT IN MY LIFE.

I PERSONALLY FEEL IT WOULD NOT BE VERY NICE TO BLOG OUT ALL THE THINGS YOU'VE DONE. BUT SINCE YOU'VE PROVEN THAT YOU'RE CAPABLE OF DOING THAT IN YOUR BLOG, WELL, UPDATE YOURSELF MORE ON MY FRIEND'S BLOG TO FIND OUT WHAT EXACTLY HAVE YOU DONE.

BIATCH.