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stories biography escapes archives




Hello, my name is weiting. my birthday falls on 18apr1990 and that makes me 19 for now. I love shopping and dressing up in my own style. Volleyball is the only sports i play for now. I hate eating all kinds of veggies

Screams


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Sunday, December 05, 2010
not supposed to be sitting in front of my laptop at this hour typing this on blogspot. Still having problems with waking up at 8am to reach workplace at 10am on time (it only happened on the first day of work). feeling troubled and blue, i figured out maybe it's good to blog here, somehow or rather, i would prefer to pen down my thoughts in my own personal diary but i'm starting to get lazy and due to the fact that i don't exactly have a fantastic handwriting and the word would appear to be floating on the line given-.- However on the contrary, I don't really like the idea of typing my thoughts here to be projected for the whole world to view, but as you can see, I think i can't be bothered now as there's a real need to clear my thoughts to cure my insomnia tonight. (plus the fact that this blog is known to be "close down" so i figured out no one would be interested to come to this site for the time being.)

I guess what I'm facing now would be considered as a down point in my life. yes you hear me right. December? How could anyone be that gloomy during December? A month of festive celebrations and countless of leaves and holidays? But not for me. Maybe it's not as serious as what i imagine. But given that since young, I had lead a pretty good life, with a happy family, parents brought and fed me up well, sent me for gd education etc. Most of the time i have no lack of companions when it comes to pouring out my problems. But today, I felt i was alone. i felt the strong urge for someone to attend to my emotional needs. I just need someone to say "It's ok, it's alright" Yes once in awhile i do need someone to push me a little like "wakeup, you need to move on and stop drowning yourself like that and accept the reality and keep moving forward", but then, i still need someone to stroke my hair and say, "everything is going to be alright":(

It just dawned on me that maybe some people are fated to be independent towards their own emotional needs. I guess I'm one of them. Does it mean i have to mask away the emotional side of me so no one could see, cause if they see it, human principle is what they are gonna point out first before or maybe without showing me some form encouragement gesture.

It bothers me when eventually siblings in my family had different views in lieu to parents' conflicts. It bothers me alot when one party thought im taking sides. All i know is at this point of time, all i wanted is to respect both sides' decision. Thats why i kept quiet.

Nothing is really going smooth for me at this point for time. But at the very least, I just wish for peace and harmony in the Fam family.